More stupidity coming soon. I’ve been taking a quick break in order to take advantage of these AMAZING holiday online shopping deals!! WHO KNEW that adult sex sites ran Christmas specials???
In the meantime, I made a new Internet friend. I think she likes me.
Kassie:
You’re cute…So, what is a typical date like with you?
Jim:
I like to dress in a pirate costume that I wore for Halloween when I was 13. Sure, it doesn’t fit…but, it doesn’t fit in the right places if ya’ know what I mean.
I also own a submarine so I like to take my date to the bottom of the lake where we dine on Mrs. Paul's fish sticks and tater tots with Pilsbury poppin' fresh rolls.
After dinner I put in my all time favorite movie, Finding Nemo. Then we retire to the bunk beds (I like to be on top BTW) and we sing the entire soundtrack to the little Mermaid.
Kassie:
Uh, ok…that sounds interesting. What exactly do you DO for a living. Just curious.
Jim:
I’m a roller coaster operator at Disney World.
Kassie:
Oh, you live in Orlando?
Jim:
No. I would never live in Florida, I’m scared of sand. However, I’ve been using my spare time working on a master plan to overthrow the Neighborhood Association because I'm much too lazy to overthrow a government. Besides, in overthrowing a government, genocide is just too messy for me.
Since I’m on several law enforcement watch-lists, you would be perfectly safe with me at all times. Plus, my therapist thinks a date would do me some good. Would you like to have dinner soon??
It's important to note that I haven't heard back from the girl since that transmission. Hehehe
Stay tuned for a full story coming soon. It’s filled with high-speed car chases, mimes, gratuitous sex, dirty words, a nail-biting cliff hanger, a message from the Surgeon General about an actual HEALTHY cigarette, a picture of me from when I was age 5, a naked picture of Dr. Phil and we’ll also talk about financially sound investments for 2011.
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| My mom had a lot of fun when she was younger! |
copyright Pontchartrain Press 2010
