I received an email from a reader who shared the following feedback on one of my recent print columns. By recent, I'm not sure when it published but know that it had to be AFTER 1967.
From: Juliana420@yahoo.com
To: Pontchartrainpress@gmail.com
I'm writing to let you know that a friend of mine turned me on to your blog after reading an article in the living section of our local city magazine in Tallahassee, FL. I must say, it's nothing against you, but I don't get it.
Actually, the thing that I read was about sexting.
Again, I don't mean this the wrong way, I just didn't get it and my friend thought it was REAL funny..and so did her boyfriend......which is why I read it. I didn't understand why a Tallahassee magazine printed a story that didn't have anything to do with our city OR state.
Do you live here or did you just move here?
I like to read stuff that's about what's going on around town mostly. Anyway, I was just confused and so I sent this to the magazine email address.
Thanks for hopefully taking time to read this and I understand if you don't have time to respond. I'm sure you might not even see these emails.
PEACE,
Juli
From: Pontchartrainpress@gmail.com
To: Juliana420@yahoo.com
Dear Juliana,
Thanks for your email/feedback.
I FULLY agree! I like to read the obituary or foreclosure section mostly...but news editors, sadly, don't feel that I possess the required writing skill-set for contributions to those sections.
I strongly disagree with one of two required skill-sets for those positions in that I may not be a senior citizen, but, I AM morbid.
I also like the food section, where they post health inspection ratings so that I might be better armed with advice which safely steers me from Mexican restaurants where live chickens are being raised in the side alley which is, suspiciously, hidden by a 10-foot wooden fence.
Honestly, I don't "get" MOST of the stuff that I write either...nor does my editor. But, that's due to severe AD/HD.
I don't get it because I usually slap many deadline oriented articles together under duress after dealing with a number of silly situations in my everyday life which force me to procrastinate; Thus, I write them in about 15 minutes so that my boss might have more free time to do important things, such as: leave me alone.**
**You see? That was a run-on sentence, (caused by AD/HD), but I feel OK with it because I used a bunch of punctuation to dress it up.
I DID write about Tallahassee one time; it was about three years ago for a piece addressing relocation prospects after I took an online assessment quiz:
Tallahassee, FL
If I were to live in Florida, I certainly would NOT pick a landlocked city. The Tallahassee city slogan is
“Visit Tallahassee, where it all comes together”.
Of course it does…it’s the center of a state where there are many cool things going on, just not there. If I were born there, 10-minutes after birth, I would demand for a rescue helicopter to transport me to safety. I think that the city slogan translates to:
“We know you’re just passing through to a place where the television program "Cops" doesn't maintain a permanent filming facility. And, we reeeeally wish you’d just give us a shot. Plus, we have a TON of heavy-metal bars."
Anyway, I fully understand why my writing doesn't resonate with some, as I often receive complimentary copies of these print magazine editions only to see my articles have been sandwiched between advertisements for establishments which promote "free glow-sticks at the door", "Hot Studs Waiting For YOU", "Topless Maid Services" and, according to a blurb situated below my last article in your city, there seems to be a:
"Lost Tan/White Neutered Male Cat, named Eli, Brown Collar near N.E. Tallahassee - (Lenox Mill Subdivision) Collar has an affixed tag. Eli has a small head and saggy belly."
This is a prime example as to why I typically race straight to the crossword puzzle section.
I really appreciate that you took time to read the article and for your feedback. I'm being quite sincere here and hope that this email finds you well.
I CAN authoritatively assure you that, after reviewing the magazine issue in question, there is a spectacular strip club which is located on 4th street...according to your local magazine. They even offer a raw oyster bar and bottomless chips n Salsa during happy hour...Plus, "DJ Spaz is spinnin' the fresh JAMZ!!"
Take a peek at the original version of the article, with illustration, that your local paper couldn't print. They told us that it had something to do with length restrictions and/or Jeb Bush. Anyway, I think you'll like the article as it was originally written. The link is included below.
http://pontchartrainpress.blogspot.com/2010/11/out-of-context.html
Cheers Juliana!
Sincerrely, Jimmy "Jamz!" Patrick
P.S. Juliana is a beautiful name by the way. Take care.
copyright Pontchartrain Press, 2013
