"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to surmise that I, typically, do not write anything profoundly deep or earth shattering. Of course, with the recent dismantling of several NASA projects, there are a lot of rocket scientists out of work. It now appears that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be a rocket scientist.
I’ve been abundantly fortunate in that, for most of my life, I have been surrounded by people who search for the positive. They always find humor and downright absurdity in the worst of situations.
I tried this out the other day as I walked down a neighborhood street in Uptown New Orleans. I saw a pigeon squashed almost beyond recognition. This is a creature that can soar as high as the clouds, yet chooses to run when people or vehicles approach. Rather than fly.
This is why pigeons (and Mike) are stupid and will NEVER form a central government and take over the world...this is a positive.
On a recent afternoon I found myself lounging around in the dumpster of self pity and loathing which sometimes accompany a deadline driven work schedule or negative feelings brought about by someone being rude.
Even though my thoughts tend to skew toward the melancholy around the holidays, I still try my best during trying times to adopt an attitude of optimism-- steering away from the winding and dark path of temptation toward cynicism. I must admit that...
**(The previous sentence could not be completed as it is tied up in red tape, awaiting disbursement of emergency funding from the multi-billion dollar BP oil spill and Katrina relief programs)
Finding the positives hidden amongst the negatives…a sadistic little Easter Egg hunt if you ask me. In the grand scheme, I suppose it all depends upon attitude and outlook.
Let’s pull back the curtain on an ongoing highly scientific study, also known as...typical interaction with my friends.
Usually when I write or conduct research, my instant messenger is on and minimized in the background. Which reminds me, I need to create a fake identity so that my friends would have better success in solving the JFK assassination than to spot me online.
They’ll usually instant message me when I’m doing extremely important things, such as wanting to be left alone. With no such luck, I found myself sucked into the three following conversations…simultaneously.
I wish that I were making up the following conversations, as it would effectively showcase writing ability.
Incoming conversation from
Lynn:
I’m so fed up with people and many things in general.
Jim:
Could you be a little more vague? "People" and "things" are far too specific for me, generally speaking of course.
Lynn:
I'm being serious.
Jim:
Trying to lighten the moment with something stupid...much like the way when Ryan Seacrest tries to conduct a serious interview. Let's have lunch this afternoon and you can fill me in. I promise not to do "things" which are irritating but I can't guarantee that we won't encounter "people" who might further perpetuate your feelings of being fed up.
Incoming conversation from
Mr. M:
HEY...Have you seen this latest McDonald's french fry commercial? Brilliant!!
Me:
The fry falling under the car seat into a parallel universe where the Medieval villagers living in the carpet are celebrating their prayers being answered because they're starving and the giant fry is embraced by the oppressed, toiling masses?
Mr. M:
Yes! Cool huh??
Me:
I haven’t seen it, only heard about it…I’m waiting for the Broadway musical version...don‘t spoil the ending for me.
Mr. M:
Hahaha. Smartass! Btw, would YOU eat a french fry after it falls between the seat on the floorboard?
Me:
Seeing how whatever might be hidden within the carpet of my floorboard is likely healthier than a fast food french fry...absolutely.
Incoming conversation from
Lynn:
Sometimes I wonder why I go out of my way to do anything nice, only to have people dump all over me. My work is piling up and I want to have time to enjoy the rest of the holiday! Everyone took off for the weekend and stuck me with this mess.
Me:
Hang on, I’m talking with a friend who apparently is in love with a McDonald's TV ad. Which reminds me, I feel positive that I’m the only person on the planet right now who’s engaged in a conversation which involves critiquing a french fry commercial. This is a sad commentary on my life. Even worse...now I'm craving McDonald's french fries!
Mr. M:
One time I dropped a lit cigarette under the passenger seat in my friend’s car. Smoke began to rise from under the seat!! Good thing I was drinking. I poured my beer on it and it went out.
Me:
I’m sure that will be a hilarious story to share at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting years from now.
Lynn:
OK, just message me when you're free.
Incoming conversation from Chris:
Hey man...Good seeing you the other night.
Me:
Good seeing you too.
Chris:
Hey, I went out with that girl you introduced me to, Haylee. I'm kinda iffy bout that chick. She‘s as crazy as the day is long!
Me:
She is indeed. However, we’re only slightly past the Winter Solstice, so the days are pretty short right now. This can actually be viewed as a positive from an astronomical perspective. Especially if you're just looking for a "quickie." Proof positive:
Chris:
LOL!!! Funny.
Me:
Good luck.
Incoming conversation from
Lynn:
I’m gonna take my cold medicine and sleep. I wish people knew how badly they are stressing me out this week. I truly believe NO ONE understands a day in my life right now! I'm sick, overworked, alone on New Years miles from my family...Urgh!!!
Jim:
Let me know if you’d like some perspective…I’d rather not send it unsolicited, but since I’m now free from two earth stopping conversations about fast food and a crazy woman, I find myself with undivided attention just for you.
Lynn:
Shoot!
Jim:
You have pleasant, yet high maintenance people in your world to be sure. We all do I suppose. You’re also sick with a bad cold which, understandably, lowers emotional tolerance.
It’s difficult sometimes, and I realize that it’s easy for me to sit back from across town and offer my words like some sage atop an unrealistic mountainside. But, I’m not a sage and I’d never live on a mountainside anyway…I’m scared of goats. And rednecks with guns.
Consider this, when you see someone who always appears happy and well put together, it’s not always as easy as they make it appear; it takes work. Ultimately, it’s about being about as happy as you want to be.
We all get dumped on at some point, we all make bad decisions at some point, but we, hopefully, learn and move forward. Except for me...at least today.
I decided to complete the circle of bad dietary decisions yesterday and eat fried chicken from the convenience store on Canal Street. I suppose I'll never learn that lesson.
In all seriousness, I absolutely want to throw my hands in the air and give up some days, just as you.
I miss my mom for some odd reason more than ever today…perhaps it’s a New Years day thing. For that matter, I miss my father and the rest of my family.
We’d sit and play cards or a board game and enjoy immeasurable fun on New Years Day. It was the type of fun that a 12-year old takes for granted…until he or she reaches their 30's and realizes that people do not live forever.
Today is a tough day for you, but it will pass. Even with people in your world who seem to be trying their best to derail you, remember, there are more people in your world who do the opposite.
I find myself in a small writer’s studio on this holiday with a scared little homeless cat who probably felt as though the world had passed her by.
We’re in the middle of a city which embraces death by way of celebrating life IN death. That’s powerful perspective if you ask me.
You, me, many of our friends & colleagues, complete strangers and the scared little cat will find ourselves on difficult footing from time to time. There’s no magic phrase that I can write to change that byproduct of life, but I wish there were.
I plan to greet the new year by writing myself into a coma today for a project which will not pay a single penny.
Seeing how I am not independently wealthy, I shall then look forward to work this week with a satisfied feeling of good fortune knowing that MANY people do not love what they do. You love your job, as do I, and I wish everyone could experience that feeling.
I'd say that puts us one step ahead in the game.
There have been numerous times in my chosen career where I had no idea how I could possibly pay the next rent check, much less provide some semblance of a “quality of life.” Yet, I managed…and somehow still do.
This is a boat which is not unfamiliar to you and now is a good time for you to draw strength from those memories.
I’m not a holy roller, but I pray every day. It’s not a practice which brings comfort to everyone nor do I impose it, but it works for me.
Usually I pray that I won't be sent to Hell for my sense of humor. Hehe. But then I realize that I will probably be sent there for laughing at people who fall off bicycles.
I try to meet each day with proportionate realism. I’m not blind to the absurd, nor to the injustices and acts of inconsideration which are lobbed by acquaintances and strangers alike.
I remember these things in order to not relinquish control of my values, outlook or wellbeing to those who have no respect for others, much less for themselves.
If nothing else, these people serve as a user's manual to better guide me in understanding how NOT to behave.
I also find something for which to be thankful every day. Today, I’m thankful for Gummie Lifesavers. Why? Because they taste so damn good!
I'm also thankful that I didn’t have to take a friend of mine to Wal Mart, as I greatly dislike venturing into a Wal Mart. Malls and large department stores make me want to move to a remote island where my only social interaction is with a volley ball named "Wilson" after a terrible cargo plane crash...surviving only on tree bark and small woodland creatures.
Even when I find myself at extreme low points in life and just when I feel that everything I do is for nothing…I’m reminded of the love, encouragement and support shown to me by great friends such as yourself.
A treasure indeed.
While I can certainly take self-loathing to Olympic proportions, good people such as yourself provide a moment of pause. A flash of levity which takes the wheel from my hand and firmly places me back on a healthy road.
Take deserved time today to feel the "blahs" and to pout...it's healthy so long as it's got an expiration time and date.
And so, until we meet for food later, I happily write today. But, as with the events which inspired the story “Chariots of Fire“, I believe you were made for a purpose. I believe I was made for a purpose. Sometimes I'm not sure what it is, but, I know one thing...
...When I write, I feel pleasure...especially when it's a "cheer up soon" note to a friend.
Amen.
Lynn:
Amen.
Jim:
By the way, since I’m working for free today and my cell phone provider has no noticeable interest in waiving my current bill as a kind holiday gesture, may I pass the offering plate and count you in for a donation? Hehehe.
Lynn:
Nice try. I feel better though.
Jim:
Hahahahaha! Some guy just spilled on his bicycle in front of my window on the sidewalk! Awesome!!!!
Lynn:
WHAT is wrong with you???
Jim:
Why do people always ask me that??
Lynn:
Hey, this latest McDonald's french fry commercial IS really good.
Jim:
User Jim is currently offline
"When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other."
~Alan Alda
copyright Pontchartrain Press 2011
