I met a friend for dinner recently and she told me about a website that supposedly matched you with your ideal place to live. Simply fill out, what I found to be, an extremely long questionnaire and, voila, your perfectly matched Garden of Eden flashes across the screen. Actually the site suggests several options, based on your criteria.
Here’s what they suggested to me:
Savannah, GA.
It IS one of the “Top 100 Places to Retire“ according to some magazine to which I‘d never subscribe. The problem being that I‘m nowhere near retirement age. Savannah is beautiful and culturally rich, but not for me. That it hosts the 2nd largest St. Pat’s Day celebration and parade spot in the country grabs my attention. What would I do on the other 364 days?
Mobile, AL:
Aaah, the 1st capitol of colonial French Louisiana. They also have Carnival celebrations and I like the gulf. Not enough to inspire a move. Next…
Tallahassee, FL:
If I were to live in Florida, I certainly would NOT pick a landlocked city. The city slogan is “Visit Tallahassee, where it all comes together”. Of course it does…it’s the center of a state where there are many cool things going on, just not there. I think the slogan translates to “We know you’re just passing through and we reeeeally wish you’d just give us a shot”.
Pensacola, FL:
I’m not opposed to the Redneck Riviera. Visitors from Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana converging upon one place on vacation can only equal unscripted hilarity as a net result. The white sand beaches are beautiful but I‘d simply enjoy telling people that I live in Escambia County…because I like the sound of Escambia. I would say it with a thick Spanish accent to the point of irritating everyone around me until they ask me to leave.
Galveston, TX:
Sincere apologies to the citizens of Galveston but…No.
EL Paso, TX:
I think El Paso is a fine city; I even make it a point to purchase “Old El Paso” food products. El Paso is also in the finals for the All American City award, whatever that means. Maybe I’ll just visit
Dallas or Ft. Worth, TX:
No and no. I’ve had many fine times there, but it’s too clinical and widespread for my taste. Plus, I don’t trust a city with that many TGI Friday’s and an interstate system where east is west and south is east. Try driving there sometime.
Oklahoma City, OK:
I associate OKC with nothing particularly fun, that’s just me though. I know people there who are very nice but I’m a little wary of considering a place where people who I know constantly want to leave as though a massive biological weapon had been discharged.
Nashville, TN:
I have intimate knowledge. It is a fantastic city with unparalleled culture and a rich history. I’m forever grateful and proud to have grown up there but, as the saying goes, been there, done that.
Atlanta, GA:
If I wanted to live in a city that is so scattered that it takes 30-40 minutes to get anywhere, I’d move to Los Angeles.
Austin, TX:
I think this website must be owned by a Texas company…geez! Austin possesses the closest in cultural atmosphere as that of Nashville. I dig the music scene. While Music Row in Nashville exports the next “Hat Act“, Austin embraces the music that Nashville used to produce long ago.
West Palm Beach, FL:
I considered moving here once. I absolutely love the Del Ray beach area. There’s something wonderful about dining at Café Luna Rosa with the ocean breeze gently wafting through the sidewalk dining area. It’s possibly where I would retire.
Jacksonville, FL:
This is southern Georgia. As a matter of fact, I think the state of Florida is considering giving Jacksonville to Georgia as a Christmas gift this year. As a guilty pleasure, I do (gasp) like a few Skynyrd songs.
Houston, TX:
I think the city of New Orleans has shared enough of its citizenry with Houston. I shall not be one of them; my “rap sheet” isn’t long enough either.
Baton Rouge, LA:
If I wanted to be involved in a multi vehicle crash or stuck in miserable interstate traffic, I choose to do it in a city with a little more soul. My company has offices up there and they look at us in NOLA as heathens and drunks. What’s their point?
Memphis, TN: The largest city in Tennessee. Anyone who tells you that Beale Street is like Bourbon Street is someone upon which you should never rely to give accurate details to a police sketch artist. And, if you live in New Orleans, you might consider punching them directly in the nads. I’m not sure which part of Beale Street they’re talking about, but I’ve yet to find it.
Little Rock, AR:
(I’ve composed myself from wild laughter) For a medium sized metropolitan city, I was shocked and amazed that the streets are indeed rolled up at night and the town shuts down. I do like Bill Clintons Presidential Library. It looks like a giant trailer. apropos I suppose.
Oddly, New Orleans never appeared on my “custom” list of potential matches. Fortunately, I don’t really need a piece of software to tell me that which is evident. My eyes, heart and soul don‘t lie.
I once wrote the following about New Orleans in a book:
New Orleans is a city steeped in hundreds of years of culture with a history as rich as it is eccentrically notorious. A beautiful and mysterious place, its people are known for embracing one another, and total strangers. It can be poison to some, romantically glorious for others. It’s a city that does not love unconditionally though, you have to love it back.
That seems fair enough since New Orleans has shone brightly with human resilience in the face of burning twice and, of course, the devastation of Hurricane Katrina still haunts the minds of its people years later. They still love, they persevere, they hope and they rebuild. It’s a city that refuses to tolerate those who pass through with a chip on the shoulder. No time for nonsense and trivial worries that plague transients who come in and out of her life every day.
Truly one of the most unique cities in the world, it‘s a place, even before Katrina, of rebirth. You either “get it” or you get out. She’s beautiful, she’s loving, she can be a total bitch. But making up is the best part. Yes indeed, when she puts her arms around you it’s like no feeling in the world.
Many a transplant will tell you that she’s virtually impossible to leave. Once you’ve experienced her, no matter where fate finds you in this big, sometimes complicated, world, you’ll always take a piece of her with you. Deep within your heart.
It’s home.
copyright Pontchartrain Press 2010
