Before I pulled a Jerry Maguire and traded in my suits, ties and starched shirts for jeans, tees and ball caps, I never really enjoyed much downtime. It was rare to find me sitting in a park or, generally, just screwing off without a care in the world. And if you did, it was, most likely, because I’d been forced at gunpoint. I was a bit of a workaholic.
These days, happily, I make time at least once each week to sit by the river or at City Park to give my brain a rest. This morning the wildlife at City Park made it an exercise in futility.
The peaceful morning air was pierced by a noisy situation unfolding a few feet away. A mother duck appeared to be having words with her stray little duckling. The conversation went something like this:
Quack, quack, quack. Tweet, tweet, tweet! QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!
Now I don’t know what any of that means, but it sounded pretty serious and I believe some back-talk was involved. This little guy swam as fast as he could, with mom steady on his tail. Who knows what the problem was? But, the cat and mouse chase carried on for about five minutes- the mother duck clearly grew angrier with each lap around the cove. I think the little duckling was showing out in front of an audience, much like that of a testy child in a Wal Mart. Which makes me wonder- how does a parent exact punishment in “duckville”? Is it possible to have your ass whipped in the duck world? It occurs to me that being swatted by a soft feathered wing would be about as intimidating as being threatened with a Nerf baseball bat.
If someone threatened me with either I would, most likely, fall to the ground in hysterical laughter. Depending on the circumstances I might even look at it as foreplay. Don’t judge me!
Mother duck, finally having had her fill of nonsense, corralled her little one onto land thus ending the chase. For what it’s worth, the father duck brought nothing to the table through the course of this incident. He swam behind, at a safe distance, pretty much doing nothing except looking busy. Hmmm, perhaps there are parallels between the duck world and humans.
After the excitement concluded I turned my attention to a young woman who was squeezing in some exercise time. She enjoyed a morning jog with her baby stroller firmly in hand. In the foreground I spotted another duck tending to her, count them, twelve ducklings! I wonder if they make a stroller for twelve? It would be quite difficult to do the morning jog with twelve kids I suspect. Incidentally, the father duck was napping nearby. There ARE parallels! At least he made no attempt to hide his lack of interest. There’s great virtue in being honest I suppose.
My quiet morning resumed with the God awful, deafening honks from a nearby goose. I like geese but why so much noise? It sounded as though it was being gutted. I feel strongly that Geese could take a cue from the swans, who were gracefully swimming in circles making the geese look like the obnoxious drunk relatives at a family reunion.
Meanwhile, looking back to the duck colony, I witnessed two male ducks engaged in an all out school yard brawl. It appears that the avian world collectively woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. So much for peace and tranquility at the park. I felt as though I were in the French Quarter at 1:00am. Fearing that, perhaps, the duck fight might end up in gunplay, I moved to calmer territory farther around the cove.
Staring at the water, I noticed three ducks swimming in the distance- two males and a female. I’d like to think that it was a husband, wife and, perhaps, gramps or maybe even a brother-in-law. Outside of that I simply require no further details.
Finally! A peaceful moment of meditation, facilitated by the gentle, melodious chirps of little songbirds. The pigeons softly cooed as the light morning breeze washed over my body and…an annoying bee swirled around my head. As I swatted at the bee with the masculinity of a 7-year old girl I noticed a man nearby who suspiciously lingered against an oak tree. His eyes trained on each passing female jogger until they disappeared around the bend. I’m most happy that there were no 7-year old girls around this guy.
What would a trip to the park be without seeing the requisite “creepy guy”? What exactly is it about the park that attracts creepy guys anyway? I mean, there’s an abundance of “creep friendly” places.
Deciding to put distance between myself and el Creepo, I decided to walk across the street to a convenience store for water. As I approached the store I noticed a young couple. The man held a beautiful child against his chest, his other hand clasped tightly around the handle of a baby carrier and a small bag of items from the store. An envelope dangled tightly in the grip of his teeth while he fumbled for car keys. His significant other, meanwhile, stood by empty handed. I wish the male ducks would have followed me across the street so I could show them how lucky they are.
Hoping that a wave of calm had finally blanketed the park, and the creepy guy might have been arrested by this point in time, I walked back to the bench near the pond. Indeed, all was quiet on the waterfront.
My mind unraveled, releasing all worries of a world beyond the perimeter of this little slice of Eden. No bills, no work deadlines, no traffic jams, the Yankees organization had been dissolved and the Red Sox win the World Series each and every year! Aaaah! Zen.
A gentle tickling sensation on my ankle ended meditation time. A spider- about the size of a car tire- had found a comfortable place to perch for his own Zen time. And, again, with the grace and collectiveness of a teenage girl being chased by Jason in Friday the 13th, I did the “spider dance“. I hoped no one was nearby to witness it, especially “creepy guy“- it would have probably turned him on
After my heart rate slowed from cardiac arrest levels I planted myself on top of the picnic table for another attempt at R & R.
Finally, with the spider incident behind me, I drifted to a semi state of consciousness. The lilting sounds of an early morning in the park transported my mind to a peaceful place. THIS was the moment I‘d been patiently waiting for today.
The groundskeeper had different plans for me. He wielded a hand held weed cutting device which, from the sound of it, was probably operating at about 950-thousand horsepower. He was followed by another gentleman with a blower that I liken to something that one would find at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Between the two of them they harnessed enough engine power to go back in time.
Make no mistake, City Park was as beautiful as always but the natives seemed a little too restless for my comfort level today.
With that, I finally headed downtown for some peace and quiet.
copyright Pontchartrain Press 2010
