Now and again I think of something obscure, obvious or downright absurd to toss into an Internet search engine just to see what gets thrown back. It’s bizarrely fun.
The latest search engine time waster stemmed from a visit with a longtime friend. This weekend we added lasting memories to a pile that has been inching upward for 14-years. Some are poignant, many are downright hilarious, at least to us.
This was his first visit to New Orleans since the storm and, since he was in dire need of a long overdue vacation, he packed his bags and headed to the deep south for some fun. Yes indeed.
At the end of his stay, after dropping him at the airport, a feeling of loneliness washed over my mind. We had a wonderful time so I should have been happy, and I was. Spending quality time together simply made me realize how much I miss my friend.
That evening, I typed the following phrase on a search engine: “What creates friendship”. I’m not sure which amazed me more, the fact that there must be a need for such websites or the dialogue on some of the Q & A blogs.
I found a rather interesting take on the subject from Benjamin Franklin though. I like Ben, especially the currency with his likeness stamped across the front…I wish I had more of those in my wallet. Ben definitely knew how to party also and, in a Puritan world, I‘m sure that he raised a few eyebrows. I’ll bet he had some pretty fun friends. I would have, most likely, been burned at the stake.
Benjamin Franklin opines: "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged."
Huh? Basically what Ben was saying, as interpreted by the “Changing Minds” site, is that when we do a person a favor, we tend to like them more as a result. This is because we justify our actions to ourselves that we did them a favor because we liked them. Huh?
I simply don’t over think it. I enjoy those around me and try to be equally as enjoyable. I should add, some days are better than others.
I first met my buddy just over 14-years ago under unsteady and potentially dire circumstances. He was the new boss…a changing of the guard if you will. I viewed it as unnecessary disruption to a safe company structure. Plus, I knew the routine…cleaning house would quickly ensue in order to make room for cronies.
As the new boss surveyed our operation, and its existing employees, one could feel the tension swelling like an overflowing river bank throughout the hallways. Then, some pink slips appeared.
At the conclusion of day five of the new regime the boss invited me for a chat over beers at a pub near the office. This would be a first; I’m gonna get axed over a couple of beers. Better than the notice in the mailbox I suppose…plus I’d have a buzz.
This is a opportune moment to note that the boss had impeccable taste in suits, cufflinks and, especially, ties. It was clear that this was not his first gig.
I’ll invoke the long story short rule and say that in the course of an informal chat between a newly appointed leader and employee, a drunken lady friend of mine appeared and took his tie. Alcohol apparently causes an unnatural obsession with neckwear for her.
The boss calmly made it clear that he would be most appreciative if I retrieved his tie. I politely excused myself and visited her at the bar. I won’t share the exact verbiage, but I informed my friend of the consequences that would befall her if she didn’t produce the $100 Italian hand-made silk immediately. She obliged and I rejoined the boss, expecting that I would be scanning the classifieds the following day.
Quite the contrary. My job was secure.
Subsequently, I spent over 10-years working for the old man. (He hates when I say “for” rather than “with“). Oddly he doesn’t hate it when I refer to him as the old man. We shared numerous ups and downs, challenges and accomplishments. Most importantly, a lifelong friendship was born amidst an uncertain work climate and a drunk, tie swiping young lady.
He has since retired which, I believe, further gives me permission to refer to him as the “old man“. Especially when he received the following text messages from his fellow retiree friends while on his visit: “It’s raining here” was the first news flash that came from back home. The other was, and I swear on my life this is true, “I found some giant corn on the cob holders, you want me to buy some for you?”
After absorbing the electrifying news that flashed across his cell I solemnly looked him in the eye and offered to send a military rescue team to move him to New Orleans…far away from the two gentlemen who sent those texts.
My friend is almost 70 going on 30, in all respects. I believe that he stays young at heart, and in appearance, because he is indeed young and kind in spirit.
I will make no serious effort to consult a book or website to figure out how or why I share a strong bond with my friend. I accept the fact that it flourished because we’ve shared good times and bad alike. Abandonment was never an option. He’s been like a father to me…especially when I needed some firm fatherly direction.
Over the years we’ve laughed and cried together, we’ve openly pointed out the other’s good qualities and, when necessary, suggested changes to correct the bad. True friendship is a work in progress. Results from a search engine may provide facts, but experience is where the true answer lies. Our friendship is…that it is.
In my absurd little web surf I stumbled across the following question on a blog site: “Which creates a more meaningful friendship? Online friends or Real Life friends?”
I was as equally at a loss for words as much as I wondered if this was a REAL question.
As for me, I still miss my friend today but I am the proud holder of a decade of great memories. It serves as a figurative pillow on which I will lay my head tonight and laugh as I reminisce about good times with good friends, sprinkle in a little Abita Lager and you’ve got yourself one hell of a fun weekend in New Orleans with the old man.
When I go for a visit to see him, I will eagerly look forward to eating corn with his giant new corn on the cob holders…as long as there’s crawfish somewhere on the table.
copyright Pontchartrain Press 2010
