Thursday, July 11, 2013

Vacations: And Other Reasons Why I Cant Have Fun

Mike Klein: Gonna go ahead and take liberties to post this strand myself, since I know that YOU'LL do it anyway.

James Patrick: Why would you assume that?

Mike Klein: Because, I know you.

James Patrick: I'm somewhat bruised that you'd think such a thing. Assumption leads to a dark and winding path of wrong turns you know? Typically, assumption is punctuated with deflated hopes, dreams and bad decisions; Sort of like the new Fox program concept, "Sleepy Hollow".

Mike Klein: What other sorts of "bad decisions?"

James Patrick: Assuming that it might be a sound decision to hire a hooker. Or, on a random Thursday, deciding that you've had enough shit from your boss so you stroll into work with a smile on your face (with slightly crazy eyes) and punch him directly in the nut-sack before emptying your desk and telling the annoying person who sat next to you for 10 miserable years to f*ck off, followed by 8 shots at the nearest pub while one contemplates how to fake his/her death in order to disappear. And/or scrapping the afforementioned plans and just do the Thursday crossword. (Late week puzzles are quite difficult).

Mike Klein: That's quite a vivid and outlandish asumption.

James Patrick: Precisely; Sort of like my assumption that the book I wrote seems to be taking you and your staff 473-thousand years to edit and pitch. Did your assistants work for NASA at some point?

Mike Klein: Very funny. Editing is a form of art. It takes time.

James Patrick: Art? I didn't know that you painted. Can you do a nude portrait of me on top of a vintage Corvette? I'm wading through a mid-life crisis. Seeing how, since my book is not edited, I don't have enough money to actually purchase a douche-bag automobile...so, at least I can assume that I have one by looking at a beautiful portrait that you and your group of "artists" might concoct.

Mike Klein: Welcome back.

James Patrick: Thank you.