User: Jim Patrick has logged in: Who wants to see a Dick pic?
Jim: My dad's best friend, Dick (and, I'm not making his name up) Weisihinkle. We took him for early dinner to Golden Corral. He's old and, clearly, doesn't place any level of priority on food quality so long as it's served by 4pm.
Matt Moderator: Is this for real?
Jim: Yep, Golden Corral is, oddly, real, according to Jeff Foxworthy.
So is Dick-- he looks like a storybook character now that I think about it. I believe that the proper German pronunciation of "W" in Weisihinkle is phonetically with a "V" If it were me I'd just pronounce it Jones. I included Dick in the first book I ever wrote.
Kimmi: About what?
Jim: Applied Mathematics-- it's a southern home cooking recipe book.
Jared28: Lol...I'd like a copy.
Jim: Sure thing Jared28. May I call you 28? I'm lazy and don't feel like lobbing a stale Subway/pedophile joke toward you.
Jared28: 28 is cool.
Jim: Since we all seem to be losing at life on a perfectly good Friday night while most people are engaged in normal activities such as drinking, smoking, using drugs, fornicating and general fun stuff, I'm on the Jesus chat room.
Matt Moderator: I wouldn't say most ppl.
Jim: You're correct, just the four of us; I'd be one of the fun majority if it weren't for this pesky head cold...except for the drug use. I don't want to anger Nancy Reagan.
Kimmi: Why are YOU here on a Friday night?
Jim: I'm assisting a young neighbor/friend with a paper and I figured an evangelical site might be of value in my research.
Matt Moderator: On what?
Jim: Connotations/evolution of English language dirty words vs Christian belief regarding their sinful designation.
Jared28: Which words?
Jim: I'll be as delicate as possible, specifically: fuck, cock, shit, cockhead, tittie, motherfucker, douche canoe, shitbag, cunt, tittie monster and, my personal favorite, eat a bowl of shit, you douche canoe cockhead tittie monster cock mother fucking fuck. Sorry for not appropriately using hyphens. I also avoided using the C word twice because it generally causes women to hate me much more than they already do.
Matt Moderator: What is your neighbor majoring in???
Jim: By all evidence, sleeping and drinking Diet Coke. She's in the 6th grade.
Matt Moderator: Read the book of Ephesians.
Jim: The Bible scares me-- I'm a militant conservationist and often ponder how Noah returned polar bears back from central Turkey to the North Pole, etc. That book of the bible seems incomplete-- much like the conclusion of each episode of The Blacklist.
Kimmi: Yur crazy, but that made me laugh. The only thing mentioned in the bible is taking God's name in vain..that's a sin.
Jim: As I recall, Kimmi, my dad often violated the third commandment as it relates to my inexperience in properly holding a flashlight.
Jared28: any curse or negative voice toward man is sinful.
Jim Patrick: Samuel Jackson is definitely screwed. The words I listed are all man made.
Matt Moderator: And God created man.
Jim Patrick: And man created the 72" plasma display television; perhaps if man does more good, (and, trust me, 72" tv's are great) it evens out or am I missing something here?
Kimmi: I think as long as you don't use those words in a hateful way it's all good.
Jim Patrick: Then I'm safe, I just use them recreationally. Whew.
Jared28: We'll find out when Jesus returns.
Matt Moderator: Amen Jared. And no one knows when.
Jim: I believe that's because he was a carpenter...an independent contractor. No one EVER knows when contractors will return.
Jim: I think you meant HAllelujah.
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