A friend of mine recently enlightened me about a product available via an advanced robotic sex doll company. This is precisely the moment when I should have immediately faked a medical emergency.*
*stupid legal team note: (we would publish the site name but I'm not interested in receiving another cease and desist decree associated with an article...or a sex doll company)
For those who are unfamiliar, quite realistic "Design your own robotic sex dolls" are available for about $6k...with jaw dropping detail. Literally.
As I recall, the first thing that came to mind was...It's time for me to find new friends.
My buddy proudly demonstrated a "special" feature on this highly impressive site (Pronounced: It puts the lotion in the basket) where customers may choose a desired, uh, vagi..., uh, girl parts, um, really great body part associated with the third base part of a very good date night. This is absolutely drenched with suspicion that my friend might, in fact, have dead bodies in his crawlspace.
For the record, the sexbot was quite attractive-- and because of that, I immediately became so ashamed to the point that I wanted to kill myself.
I'm kidding of course; I would never kill myself...the escalated crime rate in New Orleans will sort that out for me.
I read a fascinating interview with the engineer who revolutionized this dwelling in his parents basement technology. I also learned that he personally owns SEVERAL of the robot girls himself. Robotic polygamy??? Utah...I'm looking to your general direction. Your prayers have finally been answered!
While I have no doubt that robotic sex dolls fill an important societal void, more so than, say, cancer research, figuring out how to install my new deadbolt lock or how to keep the earth from spontaneously exploding, I'm concerned that robotics are taking over. First McDonald's now the bedroom?
Call me old fashioned but what's gonna happen to the girls who work tirelessly filling the void at those phone sex places that we see advertised at 4am? These girls "stimulate" the economy--Making America Happy-ending Again-- I feel bad for them.
Just remember, technology is costing jobs for these sexy young women like Leeza, Kylie, Kia, Sierra, Siena, Hundai and Ford F150.
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