Awaiting the final edited column copy to be okayed by Mike Klein, Editor in Queef...In the meantime, reader mail:
From Charlie Kelly, New Orleans
Dear Jim,
I've noticed that almost no one gives the return "head nod" greeting when I pass them on the street. What's up with that?
From Jim Patrick
Judging by the abundance of personal injury attorney television commercials in New Orleans I can only speculate that everyone has life threatening neck injuries due to being hit by, what seems to be, a rash of big rig accidents.
I personally conducted a highly scientific study by strolling through the French Quarter and found your concerns well merited. Even though I was highly intoxicated and, somehow, ended up holding a partially consumed gyro and some drunk woman by the end of my research stroll, only three of ten people returned the subtle "nod" salutation.
I called one of the 300 attorneys from the TV ads to substantiate our concern but they were unable to be reached due to an apparent heavy Mesothelioma and Xarelto caseload.
I'll continue research on your behalf AND pledge to teach golf legend, Arnold Palmer, how to correctly pronounce Xarelto.
Regards,
Jim
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