I'm, oddly, fascinated that we "officially" designate national and state ANYTHING. i.e. flower, bird, tree, meth lab, etc.
The Bison have recently earned their seat at the table courtesy of those wacky people who brought us the national debt and nutritional labels on corn dogs which inform us that they're not healthy-- by decree of the U.S.Congress--the bison is now the "national mammal" of the United States. Personally, I would've chosen Jessica Alba but I'm not a member of Congress...I know how to engage in a sex scandal and ruin stuff on my own without a procedural committee vote.
From time to time congress gets together to sit in large, comfortable chairs; they fight a lot, they meet for a soccer match and then scream about the War On Terror®. When it's over, we pay approximately $750-billion dollars for something. It's sort of like a divorce proceeding.
None of this is important; The burning topic which haunts me when I'm doing important things, such as being poor, is...what about THE BUFFALO???
What's the difference, you ask, between bison and buffalo? Buffalo only exist in Africa, Asia and on rugs at various flea market or roadside vendor stands.
It's a known fact that Noah ran out of room on the Mayflower (the original illegal immigration boat) prior to early government officials building a wall (which we made China pay for). Because the wall came in under budget, there were leftover funds to create a popular chicken wing chain named after the buffalo. A consolation prize of sorts.
I'm not opposed to official designations...I've officially designated my neighbor, Pete, to be clinically insane, Thursdays are my designated day to get to-go tacos at Juan's Flying Burrito (ironically there is, in fact, a wall skirting the building.) I've designated today punch your boss in the back of the head day and I've designated the national fashion attribute/annoyance...the iPhone...and the man-bun.
Like it or not, the bison is our national mammal and, unless you're big enough to personally challenge a bison, you'll just have to accept it...
Now, I'm focused on lobbying Congress to designate the national inert gas. Wish me luck.
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