I'm fairly certain that social media is going to bring about another extinction level event, not witnessed since the Triassic era and/or the 2016 presidential campaign. In the meantime, I can still enjoy fun items that I didn't ask for, such as:
473-billion playful cat video shares
The ability to exhibit behavior which would make an 8 year-old cringe
Click an "angry face," a "Like" icon or any number of passive aggressive emojis associated with a post pertaining to topics which are clearly a private matter
Or gain insight as to how some political candidate will, literally, eat your child if elected...
It's all right there, at one's very brave fingertips.
While it's a bizarre societal case study, I tend to "personally" interact on social media as I do in my real life. (ooops, IRL) I don't...Then I stay in the house and cry uncontrollably-- weighing the pros and cons of moving to Antarctica--
Stay tuned for a three part series...but first, the first of real samples:
Online breakups hold equivalence to hell on earth for both parties...
In the syrupy Facebook bliss of, say, an office relationship in full bloom, typical interaction between lovebirds might read like this:
Girl: You wanna meet for drinks after work?
Guy: I sure can sweetie…
Girl: I think you’ll find it well worth your while…don’t plan on getting much sleep tonight
After the breakup, the public conversation devolves into this:
Girl: if you’re in over your head just say so.
Guy: Yeah, well I’ve been busy!!! The earth doesn’t revolve around you...even though, if you keep eating the way you do, you’ll be as big as a planet soon enough.
Girl: Yeah?? Well at least I’m not latently homosexual.
Guy: You said you adored the fact that I was sensitive and wrote poems for you!
Girl: Yeah? I lied!
Guy: (Wanting to kill his friend who convinced him that leaving love notes and preparing French pastries was a nice touch) Oh yeah? Well you’re LOUSY in bed!!!
Girl: No I’m not…and Carlos, in accounting on the third floor, will tell you otherwise.
Guy: Oh YEAH???? At least I’m not a little BITCH!!
Girl: Yes you are.
I’m reasonably certain that office breakups, and social media, violates some sort of OSHA safety guideline.
copyright Pontchartrain Press, 2016. All Rights Reserved.
