I had coffee with a friend today and a highly intelligent subject exploded out of thin air -- "What's the first word or words out of your mouth when you wake up in the morning?"
For me it was simple-- It's either "SHIT!" or "Who are you??"
My buddy Tony's first word is simple and efficient..."Fuck."
Tony's take is that if you're in a committed relationship it might sound different with a spouse. I.e. "Good morning honey." Because I'm an optimist, I corrected in adding "...good morning; just so you know, I'm still mad at you about last night."
A Florida man who just woke from a coma (and we are not making this up) demanded:
"I want Taco Bell."
This is expressly why I feel strongly that the United States Government should take sincere consideration as to giving Florida (and Kanye West) to Puerto Rico as a Christmas gift.
I never really think about words since many of my days are spent engaged in stimulating conversation...
From: Amanda Port
I like the latest writing proof... funny stuff.
From: Jim Patrick
Thank you...now I shall walk away from it and live to write another day, provided that I don’t find myself brutally murdered before such time.
Amanda
Is there a non-brutal way to be killed?
Jim
Depends on who you ask. For instance, if you're reading politically skewed statistics from government officials, brutal crimes are down. Try telling that to the guy who just got beaten to death with a window washing squeegee in an altercation at the local gas station. Or, I suppose one could just die during a sexual encounter-- which is non brutal --depending on what your sexual partner is "into."
Amanda
How would someone be beaten to death with a squeegee @the gas station?
Jim
Weapon of convenience. What would YOU grab? A Slurpee Cup?
Amanda
I don't know why I even bother asking for your logic. Are u watching baseball this afternoon?
Jim
Yep.
Amanda
When you texted a minute ago, i was sitting in my gazebo with a book and a butterfly wistfully flitted around me. It was beautiful and peaceful.
Jim
Did you kill it??? I hope so; I hate bugs.
Amanda
nah, it was panicking, looking for a way out of the gazebo's netting. i just watched it frantically searching for an exit
Jim
Sounds like my life
Amanda
yes, the metaphor was not lost on me either.
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