It's Super Bowl time and you know what that means? Correct! Carson Daly gets extra segment time dedicated to Super Bowl commercial previews on the Today Show.
For years, after every show, I endured post-production which included about an hour and a half dedicated to doing sponsor commercial voice over work...Which was fine, except for the car dealer spots. I really dislike car dealerships.
I once became so bored with voicing these commercials, which cleverly invited folks to become anal rape victims-- with zero down and $299 per month-- that I actually recorded a ridiculous, vulgar commercial stating as much. I played it for the auto dealer who not only laughed at my produced joke, but agreed! Buyer beware.
Even though we tend to relegate commercials as a bathroom break, never underestimate the power of advertising-- Effective advertising-- specifically in our fast paced environment.
"ba da dah dah dah."
McDonald's only requires 1.9 seconds to subliminally remind you to make deadly, but tasty, dietary decisions.
Truths, or illusions, in advertising have long fascinated me. For instance, "dilly dilly" is brilliantly synonymous with liver disease...and an excuse to kill anyone who utters it at your backyard barbeque.
Then, there's advertising vagueness. I saw my 400,000,000,000,000th My Pillow.com testimonial on the inexplicable Fox/MsnbCNN Headline News Network where Mike Lindell asked a sleep deprived guy:
"...What's better than a great night s sleep?"
If I'm gonna be honest? A decent blowjob?
Babel Tutorial is continuing God's work via self-help commercials which will teach you how to say:
"Please, don't kill me and leave me in this desert to be eaten by vultures (and) where is the restroom?" in 47 languages.
As an important research item for the development department at Babel...it doesn't end very well for those folks in Babel as biblical history dictates.
I had fun in the sponsorship enslavement on-air broadcast world and, seriously, wouldn't trade the experience for anything...except for zero down, zero percent financing, a date with the car dealer's daughter in the commercial and a shitty auto trade-in allowance.
With that, I leave you with (and, I'm not making this up) a word from
Bell and Howell TAC sunglasses...
"...ordinary glasses only darken the view, putting you in a detrimental situation during a tactical situation."
What could possibly happen which involves the Taliban, ISIS or military operation while I'm mowing my front lawn???
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