And now, fun with pop-up ads and algorithms...
I sometimes wonder how people survived back in the day and age without simple things like running water, pornhub, electricity, clinically insane political spectacles, The Real Housewives and...net algorithms.
While simple times of long ago might not have been cushy, I believe Ye Olde School human algorithms worked pretty well, no internet needed:
Bill: (drunkenly slurring) "Hey, Fred, you s.o.b., we're gonna settle this shit right n..."
Fred: "Get the fuck away from me Bill or I will kill you and make your family watch."
Fred's home grown algorithm in action; a fun separation of bad from good.
In our grandparents' day human algorithm even worked for job interviews.
Ex:
"...A co-worker asks you to clock in for them because their support koala bear took a shit in the Prius and they're running late. You..."
a) steep a cup of chai
b) clock the co-worker in
c) go to a quiet, gluten-free place
d) identify as a conscientious objector to powdered creamer in the break room...and the international monetary fund.
Interview from yesteryear:
Employer: "Are you drunk right now?"
Employer: "Are you drunk right now?"
Prospective employee: Nope.
Employer: "You're hired."
Which leads me to how web algorithms recently failed me via an unwanted pop-up ad as I Googled:
"Do hyenas laugh, even when they're being killed?"
"Do hyenas laugh, even when they're being killed?"
Pop-up advertisement:
"Are YOU 6-feet Tall? Women want more tall, handsome men on our site. Join DateTallMen.com today to reach women near you!"
"Are YOU 6-feet Tall? Women want more tall, handsome men on our site. Join DateTallMen.com today to reach women near you!"
User: JIM has logged on--
I am not, in fact, 6-feet tall but I capitalized my name for stature. I never knew that 6-feet tall people were in such demand but now it makes perfect sense as to why many professional athletes are involved in troubling sexual scandals. Well, except for horse jockeys.
I am not, in fact, 6-feet tall but I capitalized my name for stature. I never knew that 6-feet tall people were in such demand but now it makes perfect sense as to why many professional athletes are involved in troubling sexual scandals. Well, except for horse jockeys.
According to your website, altitude is, apparently, sexy! I’m 5’ 11’' and I do what most people who have failed at the 6-foot mark do-- spend a lot of time crying. I DO wear a size 11.5 shoe and, well, you know what they say about that...they say “Man, you have pretty stupid looking feet.”
Would you place me on your email list so that I might be reminded of my inadequacies or when you construct a companion website titled “Date 5’ 11’’men.com? At that point I will promptly place my profile on the site for the ladies who enjoy men of average height with big clown feet.
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