I read a thoughtful article today headlined:
"Female Oktoberfest
Tourists Slammed For
Porno Dresses."
WHAT? Yep.
A band of German traditionalists seem to have misplaced indignation over the fact that Mercedes automobiles are being assembled in Alabama and have aimed their precision engineering discontent toward the low-cut design of the dirndl and the women who wear them. A dirndl is the traditional dress worn during Oktoberfest...and, on occasion, by confused gentlemen lounging around the house.
It never occurred to me that the Germans would dangle a moral barometer into the arena of "porno" labels, considering that their brand of porn involves being tied up while beaten senseless with a roll of sheet metal in a film titled:
*loosely translated: "My left testicle aches for horrifying punishment."
Have you ever SEEN German porn?? I have... thanks to a couple of friends who engage in questionable web activity and do not seem to be on the same page as that of the teachings of Jesus Christ.
An adventurous segment of Germany's sex subculture die each year, sadly knocking Florida off this prestigious list.
"It's as if I'd walk around half-naked and say HEY, I'm Australian!!!”
First of all, Franz, Australians would be flattered by that. You have to think outside the thunderbox to offend the Aussies, perhaps by screaming in agony while wearing a scuba suit with a giant rubber stingray suctioned to your back. (Shout out to Steve Irwin!! Too soon?)
A man in Hamburg was recently discovered after chasing the perfect solo orgasm went badly. He covered himself with sliced cheese, pantyhose wrapped around his upper body, wearing a raincoat and a diving suit. He then sat down with a plastic bag over his head in front of a heater that was switched on.
I have many, many questions.
A man in Hamburg was recently discovered after chasing the perfect solo orgasm went badly. He covered himself with sliced cheese, pantyhose wrapped around his upper body, wearing a raincoat and a diving suit. He then sat down with a plastic bag over his head in front of a heater that was switched on.
I have many, many questions.
Back to the Dirndl... Oktoberfest purist, Gerhard Muller, simply claims that the low cut dresses are tarnishing German history. No offense Gerhard, but I believe there are a couple of historic items in the German public relations filing cabinet worse than a dress with a push-up bra.
Since I'm not interested in being involved in a porno experience which involves a funeral plan, I say-- ladies raise a stein and sport the dirndl with pride. 
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